Its been a while since we had one of those serious posts, a serious chit chat..
I would like to start by telling you a story, 3 months ago I was attending an NLP course here in Oman, it was hosted by a great organization that I hope takes no offence in what am going to say.
The first day of the course went fine, even though it seemed more of a "social" course than an NLP course
On the second day I had to leave in the middle of the course, no I didnt have any emergency, I had to leave because the lecturer said something that made hell break loose inside of me, I cant deny, it hit close to home
In part of his "social and religious" lecture-yes in the middle of an NLP course- he started to say how people who commit suicide lack faith "qelaat iman" and that one should remind such a person who is trying to run away from worldly troubles that he will be "grilled like a barbeque in hell"
And yes those who know me, know that for sure I couldnt keep my big mouth shut, I objected at what he said, there was a bit of "drama", and I left
I cried on the way home, because I could imagine that such a dr who specialises in psychology and sociology probably meets alot of patients who have suicidal thoughts and I cant imagine them listening to this phrase "you will be grilled like a BBQ in hell"-knowing how a depressed person feels, I knew this could only make matters worst.
Needless to say I didnt attend the remaining 3 days of the course. I was offered my money back, I refused, I said I did learn something, I learned that not everyone with a Phd is truly a doctor
Let me tell you now two different stories,
A month later from this incident I was in a training course- a part of a volunteer program- teaching as how to deal with depressed and mentally challanged elderly.
A very wise respected doctor said during the course: suicide is somehow a taboo. Nobody wants to talk about it becaue they associate it with one drifting away from god and comitting a sin so great that it shouldnt even be talked about. No one tries to understand the pain such a person is suffering from that causes him/her to consider suicide. Most of the time people who attempt suicide are not people who lost money or any worldly possesion. Most of the time they are people who have everything going well. People who do have faith. People who do pray. But they are people who have been struck by a mental disease, most of the time its depression. Depression cant be shaken away by simply praying the devil away. Its a disease. Its a disease that society associates with lack of faith and weakness, all the more giving the depressed person more reasons not to talk about their pain, and causing them to hide their thoughts of killing themselves, and therefore the signs of suicide tendency go un-noticed and no help to prevent it can be offered.
He talked more, but in conclusion he said that when someone who is depressed sums the courage to share with family or a doctor the impulsive thoughts he has about killing himself, they shouldnt be faced with anger, judgment, disgust and disappointment. Rather they should be calmly handled and logical and lovingly discussed.
Unlike the doctor in the NLP course..
Here is one last story
A girl a year ago was sobbing on the phone telling her therapist that she has everything set to end her life today. She chose drowning as the method, she was sobbing telling her therapist that she cant take it anymore, that her mind was literally exploding
In a very calm voice the therapist replied: why today? whats so special about today?
The girl stayed quiet, she expected all replies: you will go to hell, its haram, its a sin, think about your family...etc
But for this reply, she had no comeback..
Their conversation went on,
all I can tell you the girl is still alive today, living life with great joy..
My point from all of this is: well there are so many points, but let me sum it up:
1) Mental disease is still considered a taboo in our socities, if you are one of those people, please dedicate some time to read more about it, try to sympathize and empathize with people who are in suffering. Just because they dont have a broken bone or a bleeding spleen, doesnt mean their suffering is any less..
2) Suicide is infact a sin, but judging that sin and how it shall be punished is up to our creator. Various people have various beliefs, respect that. Instead of judging show some love and support for someone in such horrific pain tha they want to end their life, something we are built to save and protect, just imagine how much in pain they must be to want to end it.
3) If you are a psychologist, a shrink or if you for some reason do offer therapy, but your heart isnt in it, if you dont understand pain, please leave your job NOW, go find another job, because this job is a calling, its a calling for special people who have an open mind and an open heart. Go work as a waiter, seriously.
and last but not least I want to share with you these two videos from TED, they are very heart warming and emotional, but they are worth the watch:
http://www.ted.com/talks/sherwin_nuland_on_electroshock_therapy.html
http://www.ted.com/talks/jd_schramm.html
xoxo
TaLyan's
I would like to start by telling you a story, 3 months ago I was attending an NLP course here in Oman, it was hosted by a great organization that I hope takes no offence in what am going to say.
The first day of the course went fine, even though it seemed more of a "social" course than an NLP course
On the second day I had to leave in the middle of the course, no I didnt have any emergency, I had to leave because the lecturer said something that made hell break loose inside of me, I cant deny, it hit close to home
In part of his "social and religious" lecture-yes in the middle of an NLP course- he started to say how people who commit suicide lack faith "qelaat iman" and that one should remind such a person who is trying to run away from worldly troubles that he will be "grilled like a barbeque in hell"
And yes those who know me, know that for sure I couldnt keep my big mouth shut, I objected at what he said, there was a bit of "drama", and I left
I cried on the way home, because I could imagine that such a dr who specialises in psychology and sociology probably meets alot of patients who have suicidal thoughts and I cant imagine them listening to this phrase "you will be grilled like a BBQ in hell"-knowing how a depressed person feels, I knew this could only make matters worst.
Needless to say I didnt attend the remaining 3 days of the course. I was offered my money back, I refused, I said I did learn something, I learned that not everyone with a Phd is truly a doctor
Let me tell you now two different stories,
A month later from this incident I was in a training course- a part of a volunteer program- teaching as how to deal with depressed and mentally challanged elderly.
A very wise respected doctor said during the course: suicide is somehow a taboo. Nobody wants to talk about it becaue they associate it with one drifting away from god and comitting a sin so great that it shouldnt even be talked about. No one tries to understand the pain such a person is suffering from that causes him/her to consider suicide. Most of the time people who attempt suicide are not people who lost money or any worldly possesion. Most of the time they are people who have everything going well. People who do have faith. People who do pray. But they are people who have been struck by a mental disease, most of the time its depression. Depression cant be shaken away by simply praying the devil away. Its a disease. Its a disease that society associates with lack of faith and weakness, all the more giving the depressed person more reasons not to talk about their pain, and causing them to hide their thoughts of killing themselves, and therefore the signs of suicide tendency go un-noticed and no help to prevent it can be offered.
He talked more, but in conclusion he said that when someone who is depressed sums the courage to share with family or a doctor the impulsive thoughts he has about killing himself, they shouldnt be faced with anger, judgment, disgust and disappointment. Rather they should be calmly handled and logical and lovingly discussed.
Unlike the doctor in the NLP course..
Here is one last story
A girl a year ago was sobbing on the phone telling her therapist that she has everything set to end her life today. She chose drowning as the method, she was sobbing telling her therapist that she cant take it anymore, that her mind was literally exploding
In a very calm voice the therapist replied: why today? whats so special about today?
The girl stayed quiet, she expected all replies: you will go to hell, its haram, its a sin, think about your family...etc
But for this reply, she had no comeback..
Their conversation went on,
all I can tell you the girl is still alive today, living life with great joy..
My point from all of this is: well there are so many points, but let me sum it up:
1) Mental disease is still considered a taboo in our socities, if you are one of those people, please dedicate some time to read more about it, try to sympathize and empathize with people who are in suffering. Just because they dont have a broken bone or a bleeding spleen, doesnt mean their suffering is any less..
2) Suicide is infact a sin, but judging that sin and how it shall be punished is up to our creator. Various people have various beliefs, respect that. Instead of judging show some love and support for someone in such horrific pain tha they want to end their life, something we are built to save and protect, just imagine how much in pain they must be to want to end it.
3) If you are a psychologist, a shrink or if you for some reason do offer therapy, but your heart isnt in it, if you dont understand pain, please leave your job NOW, go find another job, because this job is a calling, its a calling for special people who have an open mind and an open heart. Go work as a waiter, seriously.
and last but not least I want to share with you these two videos from TED, they are very heart warming and emotional, but they are worth the watch:
http://www.ted.com/talks/sherwin_nuland_on_electroshock_therapy.html
http://www.ted.com/talks/jd_schramm.html
xoxo
TaLyan's
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